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The 2015 Fountain City Roller Derby Schedule

The term “off season” tends to garner chuckles around the roller derby community, mainly because as far as the athletes are concerned, there really isn’t one.  Practices, scrimmages, and drills continue throughout the year mostly unabated, but to the all-important Derby Fan in Kansas City, that stretch of time from late September through January or February can feel interminable.

Well… the wait is almost over, derby fans.  Are you ready?  Because we’re ready.  We have been ready since first call.  Roll!

This week and next, we’ll be posting bout schedules for the Kansas City roller derby leagues so you, the Derby Fan, can plan ahead and join your favorite leagues, teams, and players in all the flat track action you can handle for 2015.

First off, the incredible ladies and gents of Fountain City Roller Derby recently released their 2015 schedule, and not only is it full of surprises, it also boasts more bout dates than any previous season, period.  Here’s the full rundown for FCRD — dates, locations, and teams to be featured.  Pay special attention to that first one:

Sat., Feb 28 — Hale Arena — all house, Zombie, and Co-ed teams beginning at 11:00 a.m.

Sun., March 15 — B&D Skate Center — Zombie & Co-ed

Sun., Apr 12 — B&D Skate Center — house teams

Sun., May 17 — B&D Skate Center — Zombie & Co-ed

Sun., June 14 — B&D Skate Center — house teams

Sun., June 28 — B&D Skate Center — Zombie & Co-ed

Sun., July 12 — B&D Skate Center — house teams

Sun., July 26 — B&D Skate Center — Zombie & Co-ed

Sun., Aug 9 — B&D Skate Center — house teams

Sun., Aug 30 — B&D Skate Center — Zombie & Co-ed

Sun., Sept 13 — B&D Skate Center — house teams

Please note that Fountain City’s bouts are on Sunday evenings this season with the exception of the first game, which is a Saturday.  Of course, we’ll have all the details on these fine events as the time draws near, but for now, mark your calendars and do not miss the phenomenal sixth season of Fountain City Roller Derby!

Derby Saturday

This weekend features another perilous Saturday night in which Kansas City roller derby fans must choose their league. These things happen, especially to us. When you follow as much derby as we do, you’re bound to run into date conflicts, and until technology catches up with our love of derby, we can only be in one place at a time.

Above all, we like to keep readers informed so they can make informed choices about how to spend their roller derby dollar. We love our Dead Girls and Blacksnake ladies, but stop scheduling games on the same night, mmmkay? Kthx.

Dead Girl Derby – Game 3

Hale Arena is the place to be for Dead Girl Derby action Saturday night. Doors open at 5:00, the first game begins at 6:00, and you won’t want to miss this one. It’s the last game of the season before the championship games on August 16th. The Deadly Sirens take on the formidable Shotgun Sheilas in game one of the night’s festivities, and the reigning champion Royal Pains face off against the Lovely Lethals in game two.

Click for the Facebook event page.

KC Derby Digest will be there, camera in hand, to document the madness, so get to Hale Arena early and don’t miss these incredible ladies in one of their final games under the Dead Girl Derby name. Adult tickets at the door are $15, kids 6-12 are $7, and children 5 and under are admitted free.

Wicked Witches of the Mid-West

For Blacksnake Rollergirls action on the flat track, there is only the St. Joseph Civic Arena, and that’s where you can find this outstanding league this Saturday night. This weekend’s Wizard of Oz themed event will first feature the Kansas City Roller Warriors Junior Derby league in game one, followed by a two-team Blacksnake mash-up contest in game two.

Click for the Facebook event page.

Tickets at the door are $12 for adults, $7 for kids 6-12, and $0 for rugrats ages 5 and under. Doors open at the Civic Arena at 5:00. They also have a Chuck-a-Duck contest for great prizes, as well as a 50/50 drawing for cashola.

Best of luck to all the ladies of Kansas City and St. Joseph roller derby this Saturday night! Be sure to follow us on The Twitter for all the scores and highlights this weekend, and we will see you trackside, Kansas City. Roll on!

Featured Roller Warrior – March 2012

KC Derby Digest‘s featured Roller Warrior for the month of March is the incomparable Extremely Frank!

Name: Extremely Frank
Team: The Black Eye Susans

Number: 8
“Unlike a lot of players, there’s no ‘meaning’ to my number selection. All I knew was that I wanted a single digit because there’s not much real estate on my back, and an 8 is wonderfully symmetrical.”

Position(s): Jammer (2010), Jammer/Blocker (2011), Blocker (2012)

How she discovered KCRW:
“When I moved to KC six years ago, a friend from work started talking about going to a bout. It was pitched to me this way: iIt’s adult women in skirts, ripped fishnets, and old fashioned skates hitting each other. There’s one player named Dirty Britches who only has one arm, some crazy guy dresses up like a horned grim reaper, and the announcer wears the same nasty brown 70s suit to every game.’ How can you not go see that beautiful train wreck? The first bout I attended was at Winwood, then it wasn’t until a couple years later that I started going on a regular basis with friends. At that point, games were held both at Hale Arena and Municipal Auditorium. We would all talk about how fun it looked to play, but that we were too busy, too afraid to get hurt, and too old to try out. Then in early 2009, I started to feel like my life was very professional within my career, very proper in my involvement in the Junior League (charity organization), and very peaceful in my Bikram yoga practice. This left a part of me that really just wanted to beat up someone. Hello, derby.”

Origin of her derby name:
“Picking a derby name wasn’t easy — Honey Bunions, Yard Dart, and Bullina Chinashop were the top picks for awhile. Then I had a conversation with Eclipse at a fresh meat practice and she posed the question, “But do any of those names really connect with who you are?” So I started verbalizing how others describe me, and the fact that I have no filter, very little tact, and I’m far too lazy to sugar-coat anything led to the obvious conclusion that I’m ridiculously blunt. “Extremely Frank” was birthed from this conversation and not only accurately summed up one of my major characteristics, but also has a special place in my heart, as my father’s name is Frank. It’s so much easier than giving him a grandchild.”

Favorite derby moment:
“The best moments for me are games when we lose, but we all feel as though we’ve actually won — this really shows the solid character of a team. This was true for our All Star bout against Oly at Nationals this past fall; if the scoreboard had been missing, no one would have been able to tell that we actually lost. The celebration on the track was epic. This happened a few times in my first couple years with the Susans as well — it’s an amazing feeling. At the end of the day, any moment when I’m having fun is a favorite moment. Fun is always the best thing to have, and fun with friends is even better.”

Favorite skater:
“This changes all the time, because skaters are different every season. Currently, one of my favorite skaters to watch and play against within KCRW is Archie Lee — she’s consistently fierce, is happily championing a new Dorothy team, leaves nothing in her gas tank by the end of a bout, and always exits the track with a laugh. I’m also getting far too much pride in watching my derby wife, Hail Mary, turn up the heat this season — go get em’, wifey! Nationally, I could watch Suzy Hotrod all day long…yes, I jumped on that bandwagon during my rookie year and I’ll blissfully stay there as long as she has skates on her magical, extremely shapely feet.”

Derby philosophy:
“I’ll do/try anything that my team needs me to do. Chances are I won’t be the best at it, but chances are I won’t be the worst, either. I will work as hard as I can at derby as long as I’m having fun. It’s selfish, I know, but why commit your time and energy to something that doesn’t create joy in your life and also burn calories?”

KCRW wins!

Because when the Kansas City Roller Warriors hit the track… we all win.

Last night’s bouts at Municipal Auditorium were memorable, to say the least. For starters, the Victory Vixens mauled the previously-unstoppable Dreadnought Dorothys 166-50 in the first game I’ve ever seen the Ruby Reds drop. The second game came down to the last few seconds on the jam clock and saw the Black Eye Susans, with Mash Hun wearing the star, pull out the last few points they needed to steal the win away from the dramatically improved Knockouts by a score of 86-83. It was an absolute heart attack, and I feel for any roller derby fan who wasn’t there to see it last night.

We will, of course, have our recap and photos posted within the next day or two, but in the meantime, this is what victory looks like.

Polar Plunge and 5K Strut

Never let it be said that the ladies and gentlemen of Kansas City roller derby don’t have huge… huge hearts.

Tomorrow is the 2012 Polar Plunge and 5K Strut to benefit Special Olympics Kansas! Click here for a schedule of the day’s events, and you can donate to the cause by clicking this graphic we’ve so lazily lifted directly from their web site.

Or better yet, sign up and participate! Strut for 5K, it’s a good time. And what’s better than jumping into freezing ass cold water with a buncha derby girls with a soft spot for the Special Olympics?

KC Derby Digest will be there, cheering on the KC leagues as they strut and plunge, and we hope to see you there!

2012 Rumble Bundle

True fans of the Kansas City Roller Warriors anxiously await the news each and every Fall, and it’s here. You can now buy your 2012 Rumble Bundle for the low price of $66 per adult or $36 per child ages 6-12, just click that linky-pooh right there.

Season ticket holders always receive a nice bonus gift at the first bout; last year, mine was a big wet smooch from one of the Black Eye Susans, but I don’t remember which one because I immediately passed out.

Worth. Every. Penny.

All right, I made that up. To receive your Rumble Bundle in time for Christmas, your order must be received no later than December 15. Orders placed after that will be mailed out on March 14, and any orders received after March 15 cannot be guaranteed a smooch bonus gift.

Here are the dates for the 2012 Kansas City Roller Warriors season:

March 24
April 28
June 30 (two f#cking months later!)
July 28
August 18
September 15

So get on the ball, Wolfpackers, and get your 2012 Rumble Bundle in time for the holidays! It makes a great gift for, you know, me.