Category Archives: House games

Is 2023 the Year of the Siren?

First, let’s get some stats out of the way.

Current Standings

Deadly Sirens 2-0
Shotgun Sheilas 1-1
Lovely Lethals 1-1
Royal Pains 0-2

There’s a lot going on here. You don’t need very many fingers to count the number of times the Deadly Sirens have started the season at 2-0. It’s even less common that they’ve sat atop the league alone.

The Sirens, talented as they’ve always been, have not had much luck in the win-loss column through most of the 20-teens, and not to beat a dead horse, but they remain, to this day, the only Fountain City Roller Derby team to have never taken home the house championship.

Let me tell you—this could be the year that changes. Let’s take a look at a bit of history.

The Sirens Throughout the Years

In 2011, the first year for the current house teams, the Deadly Sirens spent most of the season looking like the team to beat. They handily defeated everyone in their path for the first four games of the season and began the year at 4-0.

Then, they lost their top-scoring jammer, a phenom named Helen Killer who was averaging over 35 points a game when she vanished. And that is exactly what happened—as far as the public could tell, Ms. Killer disappeared into thin air and was never seen again.

Since then, we’ve heard several versions of what happened and why she left the league, but none of that is important. People leave roller derby for a variety of personal and professional reasons all the time. All things being equal, one reason is as valid as another.

But her absence was certainly felt—that year and in years to come. Remember the part about how she was averaging over 35 points a game? The Sirens only lost that year’s championship game to the Lethals by 14 points, which tells you everything you need to know about what an asset she was. No team is one player, of course, but high-octane jammers like Helen Killer can and do make an immediate difference, both with their presence and their absence. The Sirens losing the championship game that year was the last thing anyone expected just a few weeks prior.

The Sirens persevered.

In the years that followed, the Sirens struggled. As the league moved from River Roll to Hale Arena to B&D Skate Center, the Ladies in Teal seemed to find themselves at the bottom of the heap more often than not, once even forfeiting the final period of a game in accordance with MADE’s mercy rule. For several years in a row, they were only able to notch one or maybe two wins per season (at most) and still usually lost the annual grudge match to whatever team happened to be in the cellar with them at the time. In all, it was a rough time to be a Sirens fan.

Things really started to turn around for the Sirens in 2018 when they fought their way back to Fountain City’s championship game for the first time in seven years. And although they dropped that game (and the trophy) to the Sheilas, they turned around and made a repeat appearance the following year, once again losing out to the Sheilas but putting the derby community on notice that they were not to be trifled with.

COVID hit, the world ended, and we lost the 2020 and 2021 seasons. Somehow, though, the Deadly Sirens barely missed a beat. They missed the championship game in 2022, but now, just one year later, they find themselves halfway through the new season and sitting as comfortably on top as they can with the other half still in front of them.

A Look Ahead

Thus far, the Sirens have outscored their opponents 132-76 overall and even held the terrifying Shotgun Sheilas to only 35 points in last month’s game. (Helen Killer used to score that many points by herself.)

It’s a bit early to start making predictions, but it’s not at all unreasonable to say that the Deadly Sirens have a very, very good chance of making Fountain City Roller Derby history at this year’s championship game. There seems to be little doubt they’ll go to the big dance, given their performance thus far, but I’d go so far as to say they’re in a good position to make 2023 the Year of the Siren and bring home their first house championship in league history.

All we can do is watch. And cheer. And cross our fingers. Whoever your favorite team(s) may be, join us trackside for Fountain City’s next nailbiting event on March 25 as the Sirens take on the only team they haven’t faced this season, the Lovely Lethals.

Between that and the game between the Royal Pains and the Shotgun Sheilas, we’re all in for quite a night of flat track action at Olahrama (formerly B&D Skate Center). Check out the event page on Facebook for all the information, and start placing your bets, because the next event on April 29 will be the championship game.

Will the Deadly Sirens be there? We say yes.

Will they take home the trophy? We don’t know… but at this point, a “no” doesn’t seem like a very safe bet.

The Kansas City Roller Warriors Mini Home Team Season

This Sunday night at Skate City West, the Kansas City Roller Warriors are finally back to a regular schedule in what they’re calling their Mini Home Team Season.

And as D’Nouncer Duane put it on draft night, “It is the dawn of a new era.” Because, my fellow derby fans and enthusiasts, you are witnessing just that.

If you haven’t heard the news, the Kansas City Roller Warriors are making history by not only redrafting all the teams but also creating new house teams altogether.

You read that right. Our hometown teams, the Dreadnought Dorothys, the Victory Vixens, the Black Eye Susans, and the Knockouts have seen their last games. That could be the biggest news in the history of the league, apart from when the teams were first formed to begin with. As you’ve probably guessed, we’re not sure how to feel about it, but first, let’s take a look at what’s ahead.

The 2023 Season

When the pandemic hit, the first things to shut down were sports and recreation leagues. No one knew what to expect; some even speculated we’d be back in action in only a few weeks. That… isn’t quite what happened, and in the meantime, a lot of people put a lot of thought into what’s important and what they wanted to do moving forward.

As you may remember, the 2019-20 season promised big things—chief among them more than a half-dozen returning veterans from years past that old school fans like myself could only dream of seeing on the flat track again.

We even saw Annie Maul in black and yellow.

But the pandemic changed a lot of things. Some players who may have been on the fence about continuing to skate perhaps saw an opportunity for a clean break. Others decided to mix it up a little more and joined Fountain City Roller Derby since that league began playing quite a bit earlier than KCRW did. Any way you cut it, the Roller Warriors found themselves with far fewer available players than before the world ended, which explains not only the delay in restarting house team competition but also the decision to rebrand with three new house teams.

The Teams

Our new Kansas City Roller Warriors house teams are named after well-known Kansas City locales, and they are the Strawberry Hellions, the 18th & Vines, and the Midtown Misfits.

We couldn’t be more thrilled with the thought and creative design that went into these new teams, their names, and their mascots. Big picture, the whole thing frankly couldn’t be more perfect. When Dead Girl Derby changed its name to Fountain City Roller Derby at the end of the 2014 season, they did so to better tie the league to its beloved hometown. It was a brilliant move.

And although saying goodbye to the four house teams we’ve loved and cheered on for more than a decade isn’t easy, we’re equally excited about how these new house team names will reflect where they’re from and represent Kansas City at least as well as their predecessors did.

Some Final Thoughts

The Glitter Mafia will live on in our hearts. “Black Eye or Die” will forever be a trackside battle cry in Kansas City. The Vixens made us love the red, white, and blue in a way we never thought possible. The Dorothys’ six-year championship streak may never be duplicated.

The memories we’ve shared with this league since we discovered it in late 2009 are practically endless. We watched in awe every season as the Dreadnought Dorothys steamrolled team after team, taking home trophy after trophy, seemingly impervious to the skill and tenacity of the teams with whom they shared the track.

We celebrated with the Victory Vixens in 2012 as they became the first non-Dorothys Rink of Fire champions in league history.

We held our breath as the Black Eye Susans captured their first Rink of Fire title the following year in one hell of a nailbiter that featured the very first overtime jam we’d ever seen.

And the Knockouts completed the set as they won their first Rink of Fire championship the year after that, something that would’ve been practically unthinkable just a few short seasons earlier.

We mourned alongside our Roller Warrior friends in 2016 at the untimely passing of the legendary Coach Ice, who (among many other things) helped lead our All Star team to the national title in 2007.

We cheered again for the red, white, and blue in 2015 and 2016 as the Vixens became the first team since the Dorothys to win back-to-back championships.

In 2017, the 3-3 Susans defeated the 6-0 Dorothys in one of the most shocking upsets in Rink of Fire history up to that point.

Not to be outdone, the 2019 Vixens topped even that as they entered the Rink of Fire with a dismal 2-4 record and soundly defeated the 6-0 Knockouts in an outcome no one could have seen coming, no matter what they tell you.

For all the years, all the cheers, all the tears, and everything else we shared with these four house teams: Thank you.

Thank you for the endless talent, dedication, patience, and commitment it took to keep this incredible labor of love afloat all these years, and thank you, as always, for the opportunity you’ve afforded us to join you in promoting and enjoying the Greatest Sport in the World… in the greatest city in the world for it.

We will miss the Ruby Reds, the stars and stripes, the Ladies in Teal, and the Black & Yellow, certainly—but we also look forward to a future in which a new generation of Roller Warriors action takes the track and makes new memories for a new generation of roller derby fans… right alongside the old ones.

Onward and upward, Roller Warriors. We can’t wait to see what you’ve got for us next.

Welcome back.

Preview: Fountain City’s 2022 House Championships

In a year that can’t seem to make up its mind—and a return to derby that seems to be happening in fits and starts all over—don’t try to tell Fountain City Roller Derby that things aren’t going strong, because this Saturday night, the four house teams take the track for the last time this season to show us all what they’re made of.

Click for the Facebook event page.

Here’s how the season has shaken out up to this point:

  • Shotgun Sheilas: 3-0
  • Lovely Lethals: 2-1
  • Deadly Sirens: 1-2
  • Royal Pains: 0-3

Statistically, things don’t always line up quite so nicely. You know this game—there’s no telling how many times we’ve had to sit and pore over the numbers to find out what teams were even going to the championship bout, let alone who might win.


Championship Bout:
Shotgun Sheilas vs. Lovely Lethals

This year, like others, there are some constants and there are some surprises. The Shotgun Sheilas have gone undefeated for the umpteenth time; their appearance in the big game this weekend comes as no surprise to anyone who’s been watching since about 2012. They’re back-to-back defending champs, meaning they took home the trophy in 2018 and 2019; it hasn’t been awarded since all things COVID descended and took our beloved sport with it in early 2020, leaving us champ-less in ’20 and ’21.

We know how you feel, buddy.

The Lovely Lethals make their first championship appearance since they took home all the marbles in 2016, and they’re looking for an upset against a Sheilas squad that hasn’t lost a game since late ’17 and spent ’22 outscoring their opponents 187-79, a point differential of +108.

By contrast, the Lethals go into the championship game with a winning record but a negative point differential (-10), having been outscored by their opponents 122-132 on the season.

In fact, the Sheilas are the only team in the league to have outscored their opponents overall, and for all these reasons and more, we’re predicting a Shotgun Sheilas win by about 15 points.

As always, we expect a significant measure of statistical analysis to go out the window, given the nature of championship bouts, not to mention the fact that the Sheilas’ 36-20 win over the Lethals in Game 2 was their lowest-scoring game of the entire season. No other team held the Sheilas to anywhere near 36 points this year, so you can expect a fight from the Ladies in Pink as the women’s division wraps up another phenomenal season.


Grudge Match:
Deadly Sirens vs. Royal Pains

Let’s just be honest. The 2022 season hasn’t gone the way either of these two teams had hoped. The Royal Pains haven’t gone winless in quite a few years, and the Deadly Sirens have made some significant strides of late, even challenging the Sheilas for the trophy two years in a row. Although their championship efforts came up short (and COVID threw a wrench into absolutely everything), nobody really expected both the Pains and the Sirens to be at the bottom of the heap come June.

But here we are—two talented teams with stacked rosters slugging it out in the annual grudge match purely for bragging rights. Statistically, the Sirens have the edge, not only with a 1-2 record but also with a less-bad point differential of -45 to the Pains’ -52. Given the numbers, we expect the Sirens will probably pull this one out, but time will tell, and we’ve certainly been wrong before. These two teams boast very similar points scored/points allowed stats, so this year’s grudge match should be pretty even as well, which is what fans really want to see anyway.


Doors open at B&D Skate Center in Independence at 6:00 p.m., and the first whistle is promptly at 6:30.

Adult tickets are $15 at the door, and don’t forget that everyone 17 and under is admitted free with a parent or legal guardian.

Arrive early and get a good seat as these four explosive teams blow the roof off the joint in another spectacular season-ending flat-track showdown. Who’s your pick to take home the trophy? Will the Shotgun Sheilas make it a three-peat, or will the Lovely Lethals pull off the ultimate upset?

There’s only one way to find out. We’ll see you at B&D at 6:00 Saturday night!

Fountain City — Game 3

This Saturday night at B&D Skate Center, Fountain City Roller Derby takes the track for Game 3 of its already phenomenal 2022 season.

Click for the Facebook event page

The Lovely Lethals and Deadly Sirens kick off the evening’s action, followed by the Shotgun Sheilas and the Royal Pains in the finale.

Doors open at B&D at 6:00 p.m., and the first whistle blows at 6:30 sharp. Adults 18 and over are $15 each, and everyone 17 and under accompanied by a parent or guardian is admitted free of charge.

Join us trackside as Fountain City blows the roof off the place again in another action-packed night of flat-track fun!

The Fountain City Roller Derby 2022 Season

Click to see the Facebook event page

This weekend, Kansas City roller derby fans, is what we’ve all been waiting for — the return of roller derby after a long, long delay.

Saturday night, February 26, Fountain City Roller Derby kicks off the 2022 season with their first scheduled bout in more than two years. As always, B&D Skate Center is the place. Doors open at 6:00 p.m., and the first whistle is promptly at 6:30.

Ushering in the return to the flat track are two match-ups featuring perennial, old-school rivals from way back in the day when the league was still called Dead Girl Derby.

To begin, multi-year FCRD champions the Shotgun Sheilas face off against the Deadly Sirens in a rematch of the 2019 championship bout that saw the Sheilas add another trophy to their collection. The Sirens will no doubt be back hungrier than ever, as they remain the only team in Fountain City to have never taken home the championship.

Later, the Royal Pains and the Lovely Lethals square off in their season opener to add another chapter to a very long history of epic battles between these two indomitable squads. The league simply couldn’t have chosen a better way to bring us back to the sport of roller derby than this weekend’s event.

Masks are mandatory at B&D this Saturday night. Admission for adults 18 and over is $15 each, and anyone 17 and under enters free when accompanied by an adult guardian.

As always, KC Derby Digest will be there covering all the action. You can follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Smugmug, our official photo album.

We simply can’t wait to see you all trackside as Fountain City kicks off the 2022 season!

The 2019 Fountain City Roller Derby Women’s Championship Preview

Fountain City fans, this Saturday night is it! The 2019 Women’s Division championship trophy is on the line, and this season, there’s a very, very good match-up waiting to happen.

brawl.jpg
Click for the Facebook event page.

It might look like a repeat of last year’s championship battle — the Shotgun Sheilas are facing off against the Deadly Sirens for the second year in a row, after all — but I’m here to tell you that it’s a repeat in name only.


Here are the current standings going into this weekend’s bouts.

Shotgun Sheilas, 3-0
Points scored: 228
Points allowed: 147
Point differential: +81

Deadly Sirens, 2-1
Points scored: 212
Points allowed: 152
Point differential: +60

Royal Pains, 1-2
Points scored: 181
Points allowed: 183
Point differential: -2

Lovely Lethals, 0-3
Points scored: 152
Points allowed: 291
Point differential: -139


At the moment, the rankings seem pretty clear-cut. The 2018 defending champion Shotgun Sheilas boast an undefeated 3-0 record on the year, and their point differential is the clear-cut winner as well, a full 21 points over the second-place Deadly Sirens. And 21 points is a much bigger deal in MADE than it is in WFTDA, so the big game this weekend oughtta be a no-brainer… right?

As usual, not so fast.

Recall Game 2 back in July when the Sheilas clung to a two-point lead going into the final jam of the bout against the Sirens and hung on for the win, final score 61-59. The stats above clearly do not reflect the intensity of the action and the overall closeness of such a back-and-forth bout. And since that was the only game this season in which these two teams faced off, it muddies the waters a bit, now that it’s time to call a winner for the championship game on Saturday.

puddle.jpg
Yeah, it’s like that.

With that on the table, we’re predicting a Shotgun Sheilas win by no more than 10 points. If that happens, the Sheilas will become the first ever back-to-back Fountain City Women’s Division champions.

If not… the Deadly Sirens will take home their first Fountain City championship ever. To this day, they’re the only FCRD team to have never won it all, so get to B&D early on Saturday night and don’t miss a moment of the action.

Immediately following the championship game, stick around to see the yearly grudge match, this time between the 1-2 Royal Pains and the 0-3 Lovely Lethals!


Doors open at B&D Skate Center at 6:00 p.m. Saturday night. Get there early and get a good seat. This is one night of Fountain City action you won’t want to miss.

Tickets are still available at Brown Paper Tickets, and they’re always cheaper in advance.

The charity for this month’s bout is the Homeless Period Project. The league will be collecting pads, panty liners, tampons, individually wrapped women’s hygiene products, and quart-size Zip-loc bags for distribution. Feel free to bring any/all of these items in support of the Homeless Period Project.

Saturday night’s event is masquerade-themed as well, so wear your best masquerade outfit and/or makeup for a chance to win a Fountain City swag bag!


Who will bring home the trophy at this Saturday night’s 10th anniversary championship bout? Join us trackside at B&D Skate Center to find out! We’ll see you out there…