Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more exciting in the world of Kansas City roller derby, the Cowtown Butchers bring you their newest coed team, KC Derby Crush!
Coed teams are all the rage nowadays for MRDA teams looking to join forces with their female counterparts, and we’re thrilled that the Butchers are on board as well. Best of all, their first game is this weekend against the Sewer City Goonies just to our north in Riverside!
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So what Kansas City flat track superstars are involved in this new coed endeavor you’re guaranteed to love? We got in touch with Cobrashark, co-captain of the Crush, and he was nice enough to send us the full lineup for this weekend’s game against Sewer City. Here now is your KC Derby Crush:
Peanut Butter Panic (captain)
Holden U’Backs (transfer from the St. Louis Gatekeepers)
Mary Lou Wretched
Wreckin’ It Right
Doors open at River Roll Skate Center at 6:30, and the games begin at 7:00. Tickets are $10 for everyone ages 11 and up. Kids 10 and under are admitted free. For an additional $10 fee, you can bring a 17x17x17 cooler full of your favorite beer — no glass or hard liquor allowed. Be sure and bring your own chairs, too.
Join KC Derby Crush this Saturday night for their inaugural game against the Sewer City Goonies!
Tomorrow night — Sunday, September 7 — Dead Girl Derby‘s Zombie and Coed leagues will hold their first-ever championship games at B&D Skate Center in Independence.
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And there’s a lot going on, so you won’t want to miss this last chance to see your Dead Girls (and Guys) in action — literally. Tomorrow night’s games will be the very last ones under the name Dead Girl Derby. Starting Monday, September 8, the name officially changes to Fountain City Roller Derby, and a brand new era of flat track awesomeness begins.
Doors open at B&D at 5:00 p.m., first whistle is at 5:30. Adults are $10, kids ages 6-12 are $5, and monkeys ages 5 and under are admitted free of charge.
And now, the previews.
Black Plague vs. Gang Green
The Plague has pretty well dominated the Green for most of 2014. Their wins in March and May were decided; we’re told their dominance in scrimmages was likewise; and many believe the Green’s win over the Plague on June 22 was at least partially the result of some major changes in the game-day rosters. Black Plague was missing some of its best blockers due to injuries and various things, and Gang Green snagged a few ladies from DGD’s house teams to fill out their roster that night too, not the least of whom was the fearsome Rebel Yelle of the Shotgun Sheilas, who can be counted on to make a difference no matter where you put her.
Yeah, you’re on your own.
But here’s where this gets really interesting: Coach Arp has informed KC Derby Digest that both the Plague and the Green are down to about six players each for various reasons most likely related to injuries and/or impending medical examinations that come with the territory in a sport like this.
As a result, the other eight-or-so roster spots on both teams will be filled by various veterans from the DGD house teams, which effectively makes this game less Plague vs. Green and more veteran mash-up. All bets are effectively off. While we haven’t seen Gang Green‘s game day roster just yet, we can tell you that if it looks anything like the Plague’s roster, this could be one of the most exciting bouts of the season, and you should under no circumstances miss the opportunity to see such a unique event.
Bottom line, we’re not picking a winner for the Black Plague vs. Gang Green championship bout because frankly, we haven’t seen these two particular teams play before in their current forms. Studying rosters side-by-side is futile. It’s all going to come down to strategy and teamwork, and we can’t wait to see how it goes down.
The Untouchables vs. The Public Enemies
We do love our coed league. Not only is it the only one of its kind in Kansas City, it’s also fascinating to see the chemistry and differing strategies employed by the ladies and gents as they work side-by-side.
But let’s be honest about one thing: the Untouchables really have been untouchable this season, and no one knows this better than the formidable Public Enemies, a team I wouldn’t want to play against on my best day. Truly, the PE’s 0-3 record against the UTs this year isn’t the result of a bad team losing out to a good team. It’s the result of a bad-ass team losing to a monstrously bad-ass team, which is what fans really pay to see anyway.
That, and they look good.
The Untouchables have beaten the Public Enemies in all three games this season by a total score of 213-111, with an average margin of victory of about 31 points per game. They will be skating tomorrow night without the legendary Jamalamadingdong, who is in Sacramento this weekend playing with the Kansas City Roller Warriors in the WFTDA Division 1 playoffs. We at KC Derby Digest steadfastly believe that no team is one player, however, and we’re not aware of any other roster changes taking place between these two teams (we’ll update if we hear of any).
Because of this, we’re predicting an Untouchables win by 25 points. The UTs might miss Donger’s terrifying jamming firepower in the beginning, but they’ll step up and fill the void, because that’s what they do. Look for both of these teams to bring everything they’ve got as they wind down the 2014 season in just under 24 hours.
Join us tomorrow night at B&D Skate Center for the final Zombie/Coed league championship games under the Dead Girl Derby moniker. Roll on, Kansas City!
Derby fans, this Saturday night marks more than one very special occasion in the world of Kansas City roller derby, and even the most casual fans of the sport won’t want to miss this one. Not only is it the 2014 Dead Girl Derby championship games — not only is it the very last house event under the name Dead Girl Derby before they transition over to the Fountain City moniker — but perhaps most importantly, it marks the return of the great Pippi Strongblocking to the flat track after her enormously successful fight against breast cancer.
We will have much more on the return of Pippi Strongblocking later this week. For now, let’s turn our attention to the games themselves.
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Deadly Sirens vs. Lovely Lethals
The first contest of the evening is a grudge match between the Deadly Sirens and the Lovely Lethals, two teams with tremendous talent who have struggled to bring things together the last couple of seasons, and that’s really all you can say about it. It’s a phenomenon we affectionately refer to as the Reverse Bumblebee Effect.
For decades, you see, scientists were confounded by the fact that bumblebees were able to fly, given their measly wingspan and wing mass vs. body weight. Physics allegedly told us they shouldn’t be able to get off the ground at all. Although that mystery has since been solved, the Sirens and the Lethals have the exact opposite problem: for all appearances, they have everything in the world going for them, but for the most part, haven’t been able to maintain flight.
The Lovely Lethals, in particular, were only able to muster 19 points against the Royal Pains last month and 14 points against the terrifying Shotgun Sheilas back in February. The Deadly Sirens have come about as of late and nearly took down the Sheilas last month, eventually dropping that one 78-70.
Given the apparent resurgence we’re seeing from the Ladies in Teal, we’re predicting a Deadly Sirens win by about 12 points. Expect that, but don’t expect it to be easy; historically, the Lovely Lethals remain one of the most dangerous teams this young league has ever seen, recent troubles notwithstanding, and they have a tendency to bring it when it really counts. This season’s grudge match should be a fantastic one.
Royal Pains vs. Shotgun Sheilas
No one could have been surprised when the Royal Pains, defending Dead Girl Derby champions, began the season with a bang and a 27-point win over the Deadly Sirens. The Purple Passion has been practically unstoppable the last couple of seasons, and 2014 looks to be more of the same.
Likewise, the Shotgun Sheilas have been terrorizing the flat track in this town since before they were even called the Shotgun Sheilas. They went undefeated for about two calendar years and still haven’t lost a game to anyone other than the Royal Pains since mid-2011. They lost the 2013 championship game to the Pains in a bit of a shocker last season, and you can bet they’ll be looking to change things up as the season comes to a close this weekend.
Things to consider:
The Royal Pains beat the Shotgun Sheilas in their only match-up this season back on April 19th, final score 39-34.
Pippi Strongblocking is back for the Sheilas, and she’s always a major factor. The Sheilas are at full strength and have no players out on injury.
Lone Rager and Lady Killshot, major defensive and offensive powers, respectively, won’t be playing with the Pains this weekend.
Last month, the Sheilas nearly lost to a Deadly Sirens team that’s only beaten the Lovely Lethals for the last couple of seasons.
Nobody said calling this one would be easy.
All things considered… we’re predicting a Royal Pains win by 4 points. That’s it. It’s hard to imagine the point spread being any greater than that, but it is, on the other hand, quite easy to see this one coming down to the very last jam. These two incredible teams are both poised to become the first ever two-time Dead Girl Derby champion — that’s right, it’s never happened before — and while we’re giving the edge to the Pains, this final game of 2014 could easily be decided by the smallest of factors, given the caliber of teams we’re dealing with. If you’re not excited for this year’s championship game, you just haven’t been paying attention.
Doors at Kemper Arena open at 5:00. First whistle is at 6:00. Tickets are $15 for adults, $7 for kids ages 6-12, and ragamuffins ages 5 and under are admitted free.
As always, you can follow our Twitter feed for scores and highlights as the games progress, as well as our Instagram page for a behind-the-scenes look at Dead Girl Derby on bout night. Whatever you do, don’t miss the 2014 championship games at Kemper this Saturday night. This one is definitely shaping up to be one of the best yet.
If you’ve been following the KC Derby Digest Experience on various social media, you know by now that the Rushin’ Rollettes captured the Blacksnake Rollergirls 2014 championship this past weekend at the St. Joseph Civic Arena for the first time in their brief history.
We’d predicted a Danger Dolls win by about a dozen points or so, but the Rollettes surprised us — in a good way! — by taking home the trophy in one of the better games we’ve seen this season, final score 39-30.
The 2014 champion Rushin’ Rollettes
The Venomous Vixens tasted victory Saturday night as well, taking down the Jesse Janes in the pre-championship grudge match 51-38. KC Derby Digest was on hand, of course, to capture the madness, and we’ll let you know the moment the photo album has been published.
Congratulations to everyone in the Blacksnake Rollergirls organization for a phenomenal third season of flat track action in St. Joseph. We couldn’t be more thrilled to see this league take off the way it has. They have an all-star game against the Fountain City travel team coming up, as well as a charity game in St. Joe in mid-September, so we’ll keep you posted on your next opportunity to see these amazing Blacksnake ladies in action.
Tonight, at the St. Joseph Civic Arena, the Blacksnake Rollergirls take the track for Sith Happens, a Star Wars-themed night of flat track awesomeness that also happens to be their 2014 championship games!
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Doors open at the Civic Arena at 5:00. The first game of the night will be a grudge match between the Jesse Janes and the Venomous Vixens. Then, in the championship event, the defending champion Danger Dolls take on the always-threatening Rushin’ Rollettes, who are looking for their first championship in their brief two-year history.
The first whistle is at 6:00, and for the championship game, we’re predicting a Danger Dolls win by a margin of about 12. Both the Dolls and Rollettes have fought some pretty bruising competition to earn a spot in this year’s league champs, and we’re giving the Dolls the edge here based partially on their 10-point victory over the Rollettes back in April. You can expect all of these ladies to bring their A-games for tonight’s event, and we can’t to see how it all shakes out.
As always, you can follow us on our Twitter page for scores and highlights if you’re not able to make it to St. Joe tonight, and whether you’re there or not, follow along as the evening progresses on our Instagram page as we take you behind the scenes of one of the most dynamic and entertaining flat track leagues the Kansas City area has to offer.
Regardless of the tonight’s outcomes, you can expect some of the hardest-hitting contests of the season tonight in St. Joseph, so don’t miss it. We will see you there!
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