Category Archives: Featured Skaters

Featured Roller Warrior – March 2012

KC Derby Digest‘s featured Roller Warrior for the month of March is the incomparable Extremely Frank!

Name: Extremely Frank
Team: The Black Eye Susans

Number: 8
“Unlike a lot of players, there’s no ‘meaning’ to my number selection. All I knew was that I wanted a single digit because there’s not much real estate on my back, and an 8 is wonderfully symmetrical.”

Position(s): Jammer (2010), Jammer/Blocker (2011), Blocker (2012)

How she discovered KCRW:
“When I moved to KC six years ago, a friend from work started talking about going to a bout. It was pitched to me this way: iIt’s adult women in skirts, ripped fishnets, and old fashioned skates hitting each other. There’s one player named Dirty Britches who only has one arm, some crazy guy dresses up like a horned grim reaper, and the announcer wears the same nasty brown 70s suit to every game.’ How can you not go see that beautiful train wreck? The first bout I attended was at Winwood, then it wasn’t until a couple years later that I started going on a regular basis with friends. At that point, games were held both at Hale Arena and Municipal Auditorium. We would all talk about how fun it looked to play, but that we were too busy, too afraid to get hurt, and too old to try out. Then in early 2009, I started to feel like my life was very professional within my career, very proper in my involvement in the Junior League (charity organization), and very peaceful in my Bikram yoga practice. This left a part of me that really just wanted to beat up someone. Hello, derby.”

Origin of her derby name:
“Picking a derby name wasn’t easy — Honey Bunions, Yard Dart, and Bullina Chinashop were the top picks for awhile. Then I had a conversation with Eclipse at a fresh meat practice and she posed the question, “But do any of those names really connect with who you are?” So I started verbalizing how others describe me, and the fact that I have no filter, very little tact, and I’m far too lazy to sugar-coat anything led to the obvious conclusion that I’m ridiculously blunt. “Extremely Frank” was birthed from this conversation and not only accurately summed up one of my major characteristics, but also has a special place in my heart, as my father’s name is Frank. It’s so much easier than giving him a grandchild.”

Favorite derby moment:
“The best moments for me are games when we lose, but we all feel as though we’ve actually won — this really shows the solid character of a team. This was true for our All Star bout against Oly at Nationals this past fall; if the scoreboard had been missing, no one would have been able to tell that we actually lost. The celebration on the track was epic. This happened a few times in my first couple years with the Susans as well — it’s an amazing feeling. At the end of the day, any moment when I’m having fun is a favorite moment. Fun is always the best thing to have, and fun with friends is even better.”

Favorite skater:
“This changes all the time, because skaters are different every season. Currently, one of my favorite skaters to watch and play against within KCRW is Archie Lee — she’s consistently fierce, is happily championing a new Dorothy team, leaves nothing in her gas tank by the end of a bout, and always exits the track with a laugh. I’m also getting far too much pride in watching my derby wife, Hail Mary, turn up the heat this season — go get em’, wifey! Nationally, I could watch Suzy Hotrod all day long…yes, I jumped on that bandwagon during my rookie year and I’ll blissfully stay there as long as she has skates on her magical, extremely shapely feet.”

Derby philosophy:
“I’ll do/try anything that my team needs me to do. Chances are I won’t be the best at it, but chances are I won’t be the worst, either. I will work as hard as I can at derby as long as I’m having fun. It’s selfish, I know, but why commit your time and energy to something that doesn’t create joy in your life and also burn calories?”

Featured Dead Girl – March 2012

KC Derby Digest‘s featured Dead Girl for the month of March is none other than Stabby Doo!

Name: Stabby Doo
Team: The Deadly Sirens
Number: 46&2
Position(s): Blocker, jammer

How she discovered Dead Girl Derby: “I found DGD through a friend of a friend. … Before DGD, I wasn’t exactly athletic, but now, I love being physical and I’ve found a great new side of myself.”

Origin of her derby name: “I have two deep fascinations in life — dogs and serial killers!”

Favorite derby moment: “My favorite moment was at the end of my first game when I found out my husband would be my new coach. Before that game he was pretty blah about the whole derby thing. But after that, he was as hooked as the rest of us. Now, my whole family is involved in some way!”

Favorite skater: “My favorite skater is Ann Calvello. She was amazing. She was the original derby girl and she skated [across] something like seven decades!”

Derby philosophy: “If you’re not falling, you’re not learning.”

Featured Dead Girl – February 2012

KC Derby Digest‘s Featured Dead Girl for the month of February is Dir-T Diana!

Name: Dir-T Diana
Team: The Shotgun Sheilas
Number: 6
Position(s): Jammer, Pivot, Blocker

How she discovered Dead Girl Derby:
“One day, I pulled my skates out of the closet, dusted them off, and went skating with my niece and nephew. At that skating session, I was asked by a DGD recruiter to come to a practice. I went that Tuesday, and knew I was hooked. DGD only had eight or nine girls on the team then, it’s crazy to think of how much this league has grown [so quickly].”

Origin of her derby name:
“My middle name is Diane. My mind is always in the gutter. ‘Dirty Diana’ by Micheal Jackson is an awesome song. It just worked for me. This name was actually picked for me by one of my friends right when I started practicing with DGD, so I kept it, because it totally fits me.”

Favorite derby moment:
“For me, it’s always going to be the exhilaration you feel once the whistle blows to start a jam. At that point, everyone on the track is powerful, and you never know what will happen. That unpredictability is what keeps derby fresh and exciting for me.”

Favorite skater:
“I have a few favorites. Currently, it would be Rebel Yelle of the Shotgun Sheilas. Her determination to succeed in this sport is amazing, and her hard work is really starting to show. It’s been really cool to watch her evolve.”

Derby philosophy:
“Practice hard, try even harder, and above all else, have fun!”