Category Archives: Cowtown Butchers

Cowtown Butchers vs. Benton County Derby Demons

This Saturday night…

… at River Roll Skate Center in Riverside, Missouri…

… your Cowtown Butchers hold their final bout of the season.

And it’s against the Benton County Derby Demons. Why on earth would you miss this?


Click for tickets.

Tickets are only $10 per adult and $5 per child. Don’t miss your last chance to see the Butchers in some of the hardest-hitting men’s roller derby action in the Midwest. We’ll see you Saturday night at River Roll!

Featured Skaters, Demystified

One of the most common questions I’ve gotten this season so far has been, quite simply, “How do you decide who your ‘featured skaters’ are each month?” Readers (and writers) of KC Derby Digest can, month after month, name half a dozen ladies in each league deserving of such recognition, and it’s been brought to my attention that the process needs a bit of demystifying.

Well, you’re in luck. Not only is the “process” quite minimal, it’s also very flexible and leaves nearly everyone in the league eligible, not just the superstars. True, we’ve had some very high-profile Track Rats and Dir-T Dianas featured this season, but we’ve also introduced a couple of very promising new rookies named Cuppa Crazy and Buffy Slammers who were no less deserving.

Having said all this, here are the rules of eligibility for KC Derby Digest‘s featured skater of the month, followed by a quick look at how we go about selecting them.


1. She should be an active, full-time skater in good standing with the league.

For our purposes, an “active” skater is anyone who’s not out on injury or medical leave of any kind. “Full-time” is really a misnomer, because there’s no such thing as a part-time derby girl; this just means any player who isn’t All-Star-only. This season, Kansas City has no All-Star-only skaters.

“Good standing” refers to her eligibility to skate in that month’s bout. Sometimes skaters are ineligible to play simply because they’ve missed too many practices that month, and that can be difficult for us to know because we’re not always privy to that information from the outside. But we’ll do our best.

None of this, of course, is meant to diminish the contribution of those ladies whose injuries have temporarily kept them off wheels. Edith Myfist, for instance, was injured back in November but continues to design game programs, flyers, logos, and advertisements for Dead Girl Derby and the Blacksnake Rollergirls‘ upcoming events — not to mention KC Derby Digest‘s own logos on our Facebook page.


Logo by Edith My-motherflippin’-fist.

Featured Skaters, though, should be currently playing and actively skating in time for that month’s home game. This means that once KCRW‘s season progresses past the Rink of Fire championship, only All-Star and Plan B players will be considered, because they’re the only ones skating. Any All-Star-only players who weren’t eligible prior to the Rink of Fire will be eligible from that point on.


2. The league should have a full season of regularly-scheduled home games.

Several people wondered why there was no Featured Banked Beauty after their successful home opener on April 21st. Very simply: that was the only game the Beauties had on the horizon at that time, and a featured skater “for the month of April” sounds a little silly if there’s not one for any other month the entire season. She might as well be Skater of the Year in that case, and that’s really not where we’re going with this.


“You came in first out of one — nice!”

You may have noticed that we haven’t named a Featured Butcher for the same reason. We can’t wait to begin featuring players from these phenomenal leagues, too, once their schedules become a bit more fleshed out. In the meantime, we’ll keep on promoting their games and events, same as we always have.


3. A Featured Skater will only be chosen during months in which the league holds a home game.

This is kind of a corollary to #2 above, but I thought it was worth mentioning. It’s mainly an issue of logistics. We try to piggyback that month’s column on that month’s game, and we also make a point to get a handful of new photos of the Featured Skater before the game begins. Obviously, none of that is possible if they don’t have a home game that month.

KCRW, for some damn reason, didn’t have a home game at all in May, so there wasn’t a Featured Roller Warrior either.


You and me both, buddy.

So far, no league has held more than one home game in a given month, so we’ll keep dodging that bullet for as long as we can.


So now what?

We began the 2012 season with the idea in mind that each team in each league would be represented once; after that, all bets are off. At this point, each of Dead Girl Derby‘s teams has had a Featured Skater at least once, but only three of KCRW‘s four teams have been represented thus far because their fourth game is still a couple of weeks away. Since the Featured Rollers Warriors so far have been a Susan, a Vixen, and a Dorothy, you can safely assume that a deserving Knockout will be next in line.

Once all teams have been represented, no more consideration will be given to team affiliation, except that we probably won’t repeat teams two months in a row. But even that’s not set in stone.

Featured skaters won’t be chosen based on performance, points scored, or other stats. We started off with a few of the more high-profile ladies to get the ball rolling, but from this point forward, no further consideration will be given to a player’s veteran or rookie status.

In other words…

If you’re active and eligible to skate in a league with a full-season home schedule, you may as well accept the possibility that you could be the next Featured Skater on KC Derby Digest. That’s really the long and short of it.

We will contact our intended Feature Skater no later than Thursday prior to Game Day. We will usually contact her via Facebook, and that’s simply because Facebook is a popular, hopefully non-intrusive way of getting in touch with someone we’ve likely never met before.

If the player agrees to be featured on KC Derby Digest — fortunately, no one has declined so far — we will send her the same short list of standard questions we ask all our Featured Skaters. Ideally, she’ll respond with her answers no later than that Sunday. We will try and catch up with her before the bouts begin that Saturday or Sunday night (whichever applies) to say hello and get a few new photos for the feature.

We’ll also make a point to get a few extra photos of her during her bout, and then we’ll post the feature first thing Monday morning… even if her “featured month” is over by then, like it was with Buffy in June.


Suggestions?

If you know of a particularly awesome skater deserving of our monthly feature on KC Derby Digest, we’d love to hear from you! E-mail KC Carr at kcderbydigest [at] gmail.com and let us know why you think your favorite lady on eight wheels should be featured next. We take all feedback seriously, but please limit your suggestion to one skater for these purposes.

The Cowtown Butchers vs. St. Louis B-Keepers

This Saturday night, Kansas City derby fans, your Cowtown Butchers are back at River Roll Skate Center in Riverside, MO to take on the undefeated St. Louis B-Keepers!


Click for tickets.

Due to a handful of injuries, the Butchers will be joined by a few members of the Magic City Misfits, which promises to make things even more interesting. Doors open at 5:30, and the game begins at 6:00. Come on out to River Roll and cheer on the only men’s roller derby league in Kansas City — it can only be a hell of a good time.

Derby… like a boss!

This is going to be a huge weekend for Kansas City roller derby, and if you haven’t already seen the chatter on Facebook this week, well, that’s why you pay us.

Derby… like a boss! is a one-of-a-kind event that kicks off Saturday night with the Kansas City Roller Warriors Red vs. Black teams, pre-season style, featuring both rookies and veterans!

Immediately following, the Cowtown Butchers take on the visiting Queen City Rollers of Springfield, Missouri.


Image courtesy of CowtownButchers.com.

Full details are in the graphic. Doors open at 6:00, and the games begin at 7:00. You can buy tickets at CowtownButchers.com or at Brown Paper Tickets.

KC Derby Digest will be there covering the event, so come say hello!