Featured Roller Warrior – March 2012

KC Derby Digest‘s featured Roller Warrior for the month of March is the incomparable Extremely Frank!

Name: Extremely Frank
Team: The Black Eye Susans

Number: 8
“Unlike a lot of players, there’s no ‘meaning’ to my number selection. All I knew was that I wanted a single digit because there’s not much real estate on my back, and an 8 is wonderfully symmetrical.”

Position(s): Jammer (2010), Jammer/Blocker (2011), Blocker (2012)

How she discovered KCRW:
“When I moved to KC six years ago, a friend from work started talking about going to a bout. It was pitched to me this way: iIt’s adult women in skirts, ripped fishnets, and old fashioned skates hitting each other. There’s one player named Dirty Britches who only has one arm, some crazy guy dresses up like a horned grim reaper, and the announcer wears the same nasty brown 70s suit to every game.’ How can you not go see that beautiful train wreck? The first bout I attended was at Winwood, then it wasn’t until a couple years later that I started going on a regular basis with friends. At that point, games were held both at Hale Arena and Municipal Auditorium. We would all talk about how fun it looked to play, but that we were too busy, too afraid to get hurt, and too old to try out. Then in early 2009, I started to feel like my life was very professional within my career, very proper in my involvement in the Junior League (charity organization), and very peaceful in my Bikram yoga practice. This left a part of me that really just wanted to beat up someone. Hello, derby.”

Origin of her derby name:
“Picking a derby name wasn’t easy — Honey Bunions, Yard Dart, and Bullina Chinashop were the top picks for awhile. Then I had a conversation with Eclipse at a fresh meat practice and she posed the question, “But do any of those names really connect with who you are?” So I started verbalizing how others describe me, and the fact that I have no filter, very little tact, and I’m far too lazy to sugar-coat anything led to the obvious conclusion that I’m ridiculously blunt. “Extremely Frank” was birthed from this conversation and not only accurately summed up one of my major characteristics, but also has a special place in my heart, as my father’s name is Frank. It’s so much easier than giving him a grandchild.”

Favorite derby moment:
“The best moments for me are games when we lose, but we all feel as though we’ve actually won — this really shows the solid character of a team. This was true for our All Star bout against Oly at Nationals this past fall; if the scoreboard had been missing, no one would have been able to tell that we actually lost. The celebration on the track was epic. This happened a few times in my first couple years with the Susans as well — it’s an amazing feeling. At the end of the day, any moment when I’m having fun is a favorite moment. Fun is always the best thing to have, and fun with friends is even better.”

Favorite skater:
“This changes all the time, because skaters are different every season. Currently, one of my favorite skaters to watch and play against within KCRW is Archie Lee — she’s consistently fierce, is happily championing a new Dorothy team, leaves nothing in her gas tank by the end of a bout, and always exits the track with a laugh. I’m also getting far too much pride in watching my derby wife, Hail Mary, turn up the heat this season — go get em’, wifey! Nationally, I could watch Suzy Hotrod all day long…yes, I jumped on that bandwagon during my rookie year and I’ll blissfully stay there as long as she has skates on her magical, extremely shapely feet.”

Derby philosophy:
“I’ll do/try anything that my team needs me to do. Chances are I won’t be the best at it, but chances are I won’t be the worst, either. I will work as hard as I can at derby as long as I’m having fun. It’s selfish, I know, but why commit your time and energy to something that doesn’t create joy in your life and also burn calories?”

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