The 2012 Knockouts

(image courtesy of

Returning Players:

Captain: Shady O’Dread
Co-Captain: Ruff Draft

Bomb Pop
Cupcake Smasher
Hail Mary
Ida Know Squat
Jess Decker
Murphy’s Law
Stabbie Enyabach
Sy Kadelik Tripper
Toxic Assets

* * *

There is good news this coming season for a Knockouts team that needed some good damn news. In addition to making the most noticeable strides in all of KCRW in 2011, they retain veteran stars like captain Shady O’Dread, star jammers Bomb Pop and Hypersmacktivity, and a good handful of Plan B standouts, including PDQ, Murphy’s Law, and Toxic Assets. You can expect the Knockouts to rely heavily on the lessons learned from last season to help put up a fight against the much-improved Black Eye Susans and Victory Vixens in 2012. Bottom line, when the new season begins, this team will be the most prominent reminder that it isn’t 2011 anymore.


Bruz-her (transfer from the Dreadnought Dorothys)
Mary Lou Wretched (transfer from Springfield)

* * *

This is probably the biggest news in all of KCRW — the transfer of the legendary Bruz-Her from the iron-clad Dreadnought Dorothys to a Knockouts team that’s won one damn game in two years; there’s really no way to sugar-coat that. This is huge. No, she won’t be the only skater out there, but she will make an immediate difference in the KO’s defensive strategy, what with the boatload of experience and “spark” she brings with her game — not that the Knockouts lacked spark, mind you.

The arrival of Mary Lou Wretched from Springfield will certainly add an extra dimension of experience and additional jamming firepower to a team that, truth be told, was already in position to be an offensive nightmare in 2012. She also brings with her one of the best derby names in the league, if you’re sports-savvy enough to understand the reference.


Baby Buster
Victoria Seekhit

* * *

Once again, we welcome the new recruits while recognizing that a very small list of rookies usually indicates minimal need for rebuilding. And that speaks well for the team, given some of the remarkable ladies who retired at the end of the 2011 season. If you’ve been reading at all, you must know by now to expect great things from the Knockouts next season, and we look forward to getting to know Baby Buster and Victoria Seekhit as they earn their stripes on the track.


Billie Club
Delia Death
Dominant Jean
Mini Mean
Speed Razor
The Latin Assassin

* * *

What can you really say about the inimitable Dominant Jean, one of only two remaining founding members of the Kansas City Roller Warriors, and certainly one of the greatest Knockouts to date? “We’ll miss you.” That’s what.

In addition, Billie Club was always one of the most colorful skaters on the track, and Delia Death‘s retirement leaves behind no small void to be filled, whether on the track or in our hearts. As always, best wishes to all of this year’s retirees.

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