Take a moment and vote in the KCRW 2011 Fan Poll. From experience, this poll won’t be open forever, so let them know your favorites, and they might even send you an unspecified goody for next season.
And now, a breakdown of the questions complete with my own answers… because I know you’re all foaming at the mouth to know what KC Carr thinks of this year’s Wolfpack.
Best Jammer 2011
Yeah, what about it? She’ll put that finger in your face until you skate away with your tail between your legs. Actually, she won’t, and that’s one of the best things about Hall Balls as a competitor: she’ll dominate you utterly, but what you decide to do with that information is up to you. She is, at least on the track/in public view, one of the quietest, most unassuming ass-kickers on the roster, although my money’s on quite the opposite at the afterparty. I even remember some newbie asking me, at last season’s bout vs. Northwest Arkansas, who they should keep an eye on, and the first thing I said was, “Number 30, Hall Balls. She’s going to dominate, because that’s what she does.”
Best Blocker 2011
There’s the Irresistible Force, there’s the Immovable Object, and then there’s Eclipse. And she’s up against some pretty stiff competition in this category this year, particularly in the form of Evolution, whose overall athleticism really can’t be matched in this league. But there is no blocker like the defensive powerhouse from the Dreadnought Dorothys, and believe me, you don’t want to find out the hard way. Do what I do and cower behind a fan-made sign as she knocks the opposing skaters over like bowling pins, then cheer meekly as she goes by in the hopes that when (not if) her derby-rage triggers the gamma radiation coursing through her system, you won’t be caught in the crossfire. It’s worked for me so far.
Best Skater Name
To make my brother laugh, I once made a list of the best and worst derby names I’d ever heard. And I don’t need to tell you that when they’re bad, they’re… bad. Head-shakingly bad, sometimes. But every now and again, you come across one that is so referentially clever that it takes a half-second to really get it all, and Toto Basketcase is one of those. The Dorothys’ team name, their uniforms, Toto, and the basket he’s carried in combine to form one of the most remarkable, creative derby names I’ve seen in my travels. These women sleep on their potential skate names for who knows how long, and sometimes, it really pays off.
Skater You’d Like to Have Land in your Lap
All right, look. I’m only human. And I told myself when I started KC Derby Digest last month that I would spend no time ruminating over the possibility of skaters in my lap. But Extremely Frank takes Looking Good on the Track to a new level, and since there’s a category for it, I don’t mind telling you so. The best part is that she’s also extremely versatile; I’ve seen her pivot, block, and jam over the past two seasons, and this year she also did quite a bit of bench coaching for the All-Star team with some pretty solid results. Extremely Frank is the best reason to sit during the bouts, because when you stand up, your lap disappears.
Skater You Consider the Crowd-Pleaser
For some reason (possibly related to extraordinary talent and a million-dollar smile), Bella Fire has remained one of the (many) reasons the home crowd cheers the Wolfpack as loudly as it does. The Victory Vixens are a pretty formidable team on their own, but when you couple that with dynamic personalities and versatile talents like Bella, the results pretty much speak for themselves. Let’s hope this crowd-pleaser isn’t going anywhere for a long time.
We want to hear from you, derby fans. Once you’ve voted in the poll, come back and share your picks in the comments section. Am I nuts? Who’s the best jammer/blocker? Who would you like to have land in your lap?